All I can Do is Smile

The completion of Round Four and how I’ve found myself in the hospital for the past week.

12 Comments

Fair warning, this is a long post.

To say the fourth round of my chemotherapy was difficult would be a vast understatement. The word “compounding” took on new meaning, as the chemotherapy side effects legitimately were getting worse. More fatigue, more nausea, more suck.

My first week brought such intense nausea I had to increase the dosage of my medical marijuana 2 fold in addition to staying on top of the anti-nausea medications. Even that didn’t relieve everything in the way it used to.

Leading into my 2nd infusion, I started getting fevers a couple days before. As discussed with my oncologist, I tried to manage the fever with Tylenol. I was able to get the fever down each day, but come morning, a 103 degree temp greeted me. The infusion center still gave me my chemo, and I went home and promptly fell asleep and woke up feeling like utter shit. UGH.

Saturday, May 27th we had tickets to see Jake Shimabukaro (seriously, click the link and be blown away). Though I wasn’t feeling super, we made it happen. And then there was the encore. And the 2nd encore. Never have I wanted less for more music. When the 2nd encore began, I wanted to cry.

On our way home, I knew my fever was back. But I was resistant toward going to the emergency room. A text to my friend and former oncologist, Katharine Tierney, confirmed I needed to go in.

Fuck.

We went home first. I ate something, took my evening medications, and we packed a bag knowing we would likely be admitted. The ER was popping on Saturday night at 11pm, so I had to sit and wait with a mask on. I was half tempted to ask people what they were in there for so I knew who to avoid sitting near. Not exactly appropriate.

Eventually, we got into a room at the ER and they sent me up to the hospital for longer term observation. This does not count as being “admitted” but “observed” (Kaiser considers this to be different, and lucky for us, observed is a flat rate, no matter how long we stay).

And so here I sit, still in the hospital, likely through early next week. My fevers kept spiking each day (105! New record!) and would not go away. My platelet count was all over the board, but super low; red blood cells low; white blood cells low. I actually can’t leave my room for fear of infection. When I’m up walking, I’m confined to the room dimensions, and basically look like a crazy person who doesn’t know where they’re going or what they are doing.

They’ve got me on two different antibiotics; I’ve been getting platelet and blood transfusions. And we’re just waiting for the fevers to go away.

Here’s to hoping…

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12 thoughts on “The completion of Round Four and how I’ve found myself in the hospital for the past week.

  1. Let’s make that double hoping! Sorry it’s been an especially tough past few days for you Jess 😦 I hope you receive good news soon!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jess, you never cease to amaze…. there you sit in the hospital room remaining organized and communicative while feeling like absolute crap, to put it mildly (and the post was not long at al, btw 😉 ).

    I have faith in your strength to pull you through all this, and talking to us while feeling the way you do is a real positive sign. Think of you a lot, and even yesterday wondered when we’d see another update. I hope the hospital stay ends very soon – ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you for telling us. Now get back into bed and take a nap. Or walk around your room like a small rodent in a wheel. GET WELL, DAMMIT!!!!
    LOTS and LOTS of healing energy for you from NoCal. Lots of helping energy for Kenji.
    Love you guys!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Boo to fevers! Keep kicking ass like you always do.

    Get rest my friend. I admire you!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. i was so sad to read this post. I wish I could take that fever for you. I think about you daily. I was hoping you were doing better than this. Sending you hugs hugs hugs!!! Sending up Prayers prayers prayers!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Get better soon! we are al rooting for you! Big hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Loss for words. I just want to make you better and I would gladly take some of the nausea and fevers for you. I promise to check in on you next week when I get back into town. Bowser sure misses you. And I know you know, we love you tons!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh my! Nobody should have to endure what you have been through. Thanks for the updates and for always managing to write with a smile. Here’s to better day, months, and years ahead!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. 105! That’s crazy. Thanks for the updates. Sorry you’re stuck in your room.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Wow Jess- So sorry you are battling the way you are. As always really amazed with your strength and fight in you! I still have good faith you will win the fight against this Beast!! Praying up daily–

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Jessica,
    So admire your spirit, and continuing to pray for your renewed health. Hoping these fevers are just a detour on your road to recovery. God bless!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Infinite hugs and love coming from Brian, Izzy me and Dunkel…

    Liked by 1 person

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